yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize