Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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