What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
