ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
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