you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
