Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's just like the Real World with babies
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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