if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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