he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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