I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
