you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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