We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize