I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
