My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
