Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
