I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When are your genitals available?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
