We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
