you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
