I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
