D3 body, D1 cock
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
