Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he puts the penis in happiness.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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