I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
