Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
