New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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