we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
