What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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