tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
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you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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