I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
