No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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