Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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