A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
