We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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