the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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