i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
