I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
