Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
