There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
