yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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