You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
