I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
