i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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