The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
