Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
