Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
