i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
