Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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