I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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