Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
