just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My feet surprised me
Randomize
