He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that's an acceptable place to lick
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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