dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
