I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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