and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
