K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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