is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
