he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
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Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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