these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
