Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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