it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
