I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
