hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
